Fixing The Air Conditioner
1. These systems are more than 35 years old, so it's not a surprise if they break down. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 2. Around-the-clock maintenance cost isn't cheap, so repair can't be performed on overtime due to extra expense; consequently it takes more regular workdays to complete repairs. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 3. So that the plant won't have money tied up in spare parts, extra parts for heating aren't kept on hand. When heating coils can't be repaired, new coils are then ordered. In the meantime, some of your people may temporarily experience discomfort. Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated. 4. Your problem was the area was "too cool." As you know, steam is used to raise the room temperature in areas where the temperatures are lower than the thermostat is set. Your lab's problem turned out to be simple, a broken steam valve, but took a lot of time to find and correct. We replaced the valve and ordered a new coil. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 5. Listen to me: That FAT LADY In Your Department Is Always Hot! Your other two people in that room are thus always cold. In addition, the initial temperature is set by a mechanic in the shop on the floor below you and is not controlled in your section. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 6. This unit services many areas, which means pleasing about 20 people within plus or minus two or three degrees. We are tired of several people calling, some hot, some cold, with the same air. What do you expect, anyway? Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated. 7. Sorry, this excuse is too lengthy for printing. See the AC shop for a one-on-one explanation. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 8. If you had paid your bill on time the AC would not have been cut off and you would not have had to pay the reconnect charge. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.
9. Repairs on AC units with considerable age require many maintenance dollars and too much time to keep just one person's personal comfort level satisfied. To keep this cost manageable requires that someone, sometime, may be too hot or too cool for a short period. We believe the unit's problem has been corrected and we thank you for bearing up under the strain. Anyone not able to bear up may:
10. AC people are not as smart as they should be, thus too much time was needed to correct the AC problem. This resulted in your personal discomfort. We apologize. You may select one AC technician for an individual whipping or whip lashing, whichever pleases you. We don't allow actual bloodletting. Sorry. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced. 11. We acknowledge there has been sorry work from the AC group. This will be put on a scale comparing to some of the sorry work you have done. If the AC department's "sorry work" is worse than your department's "sorry work," all AC personnel will stay in after work. No play.
12. The broken valve which caused your discomfort was difficult to diagnose. We apologize for any abnormal time interval of distress you may have experienced. Any further maintenance work on the unit will be done on dark shifts or weekends when your lab is not staffed. Therefore, lab personnel will not be subjected to the incredible hardship of being too cool. Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated.
Photo courtesy Ed and Frances Spann - ca. 1940 |