Fixing The Air Conditioner
ASHS Column for 6.30.2005
Jerry Simmons


In 1992, I found myself reporting to a former
co-worker at Monsanto after working for
another employer for over a decade. My new
supervisor, and friend, I might add, Bob, was
a hustler. Constantly on the go, he checked
and double-checked to make sure that projects
were done. A lot of people considered him
unreasonable, because he expected you to be
faithful to your word.

Bob also worked very hard to make it possible for tasks to be completed expeditiously, effectively and efficiently. In doing this, he often ruffled feathers and came across as being pushy and abrasive. At heart, he was neither.

Gradually I learned his reputation for zealousness had not changed. I joked with him about it and called his attention to what he was doing. After some months, he said he finally understood how his behavior affected people. To demonstrate his point, he gave me the following memo (I modified it slightly from its original content). The air conditioning unit wasn't working properly in a large office area Bob was responsible for and the AC supervisor was fed up with Bob's dogging him to get it fixed.
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To: Bob
From: AC Department
You asked why it's taking so long to fix the air conditioning problem. Take your pick from the following choices of excuses:

1. These systems are more than 35 years old, so it's not a surprise if they break down. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

2. Around-the-clock maintenance cost isn't cheap, so repair can't be performed on overtime due to extra expense; consequently it takes more regular workdays to complete repairs. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

3. So that the plant won't have money tied up in spare parts, extra parts for heating aren't kept on hand. When heating coils can't be repaired, new coils are then ordered. In the meantime, some of your people may temporarily experience discomfort. Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated.

4. Your problem was the area was "too cool." As you know, steam is used to raise the room temperature in areas where the temperatures are lower than the thermostat is set. Your lab's problem turned out to be simple, a broken steam valve, but took a lot of time to find and correct. We replaced the valve and ordered a new coil. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

5. Listen to me: That FAT LADY In Your Department Is Always Hot! Your other two people in that room are thus always cold. In addition, the initial temperature is set by a mechanic in the shop on the floor below you and is not controlled in your section. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

6. This unit services many areas, which means pleasing about 20 people within plus or minus two or three degrees. We are tired of several people calling, some hot, some cold, with the same air. What do you expect, anyway? Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated.

7. Sorry, this excuse is too lengthy for printing. See the AC shop for a one-on-one explanation. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

8. If you had paid your bill on time the AC would not have been cut off and you would not have had to pay the reconnect charge. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

9. Repairs on AC units with considerable age require many maintenance dollars and too much time to keep just one person's personal comfort level satisfied. To keep this cost manageable requires that someone, sometime, may be too hot or too cool for a short period. We believe the unit's problem has been corrected and we thank you for bearing up under the strain. Anyone not able to bear up may:
a) Transfer out of the affected area by means of the transfer request system
b) Let the air out of the AC foreman's tires
c) Retire or just plain quit
d) Assist us by correctly diagnosing the problem earlier.
e) All the above or none.
Your department's willingness to comply with these suggestions is appreciated.

10. AC people are not as smart as they should be, thus too much time was needed to correct the AC problem. This resulted in your personal discomfort. We apologize. You may select one AC technician for an individual whipping or whip lashing, whichever pleases you. We don't allow actual bloodletting. Sorry. We in the AC maintenance department appreciate your patience and apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced.

11. We acknowledge there has been sorry work from the AC group. This will be put on a scale comparing to some of the sorry work you have done. If the AC department's "sorry work" is worse than your department's "sorry work," all AC personnel will stay in after work. No play.

12. The broken valve which caused your discomfort was difficult to diagnose. We apologize for any abnormal time interval of distress you may have experienced. Any further maintenance work on the unit will be done on dark shifts or weekends when your lab is not staffed. Therefore, lab personnel will not be subjected to the incredible hardship of being too cool. Your department's willingness to suffer through these instances is appreciated.

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True story. The memo went on and on. I think you get a sense of the frustration the AC foreman experienced. Many of you who have to deal with the public - or are in a service business - can appreciate this little story. Maybe the moral of the story is teaching us not be too hard on someone else when they are trying to do their job the best way they can.
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A large group was on hand at our meeting Tuesday, June 21, to hear Betsy Thomas tell about the perils of publishing her book, "Homestead." Thomas and her husband, Gordon, live in Mary Esther, Florida, a long drive from Century. Mr. and Mrs. Terry Watson of Flomaton visited us, too, and Terry presented the Society with a double-ended open wrench belonging to his grandfather with "ASLC SHOP" stamped on it. It was obviously made by the Alger-Sullivan Lumber Company shop for a special purpose. One guess was that it might be used to operate the mill's fire hydrants.
Terry also brought an exceptionally long (about ten feet) brace and bit. He said it was used to make holes to accommodate dynamite sticks. Terry figured it was consistent with the topic of the evening, "homesteading," since dynamite was a method used to split logs, and they served home-building material. Also, land was cleared by the dynamite procedure by blowing stumps to smithereens.
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Wednesday the 22nd, we had folks from the University of West Florida's Leisure Learning Group tour the grounds and museums. Such a pleasure it was to welcome people from Pensacola and Pace, some of whom had no idea there was even such a place as "Century, Florida." We're trying to get the word out to Pensacola, even if the town's been in existence just a short time - over 104 years!
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Make plans to attend our meeting next month, the 19th of July, when Jeff Ross, of Atmore, will tell us about the State Line between Florida and Alabama. Originally called the Ellicott Line, it was surveyed in 1799 to determine the boundary between Spanish West Florida and the United States.
The line extended from Mississippi to a point near the Chattahoochee River. In 1999, the 200th anniversary of the original survey, the line was surveyed again from a marker at the Tombigbee River and Mr. Ross will tell us of his witnessing a portion of the bicentennial survey.
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Come see us and join us in great fellowship and delicious refreshments!

Photo courtesy Ed and Frances Spann - ca. 1940